Somehow, thanks to the power of Ed Levine’s website Serious Eats, I have gotten a reputation as something of a cupcake hater. I don’t like to think of myself as a hater of anything, least of all inanimate object as insipid and inconsequential as a cupcake. So just to clear things up here, let me say that what irks me is not the sad, cloying little cake itself, but the sad, cloying need of the American People who seem to love cupcakes more than is really, err… healthy. And I’m not talking cholesterol healthy. I’m talking: dig deep into your childhood and let’s think about what you’re really looking for in that cupcake, Cupcake.
But really. I didn’t mean to go off on cupcakes today. They can’t possibly be worth that much energy. I wrote here today in response to a tiny parenthetical on the Foodinista blog, apologizing to me—to me—for her endorsement of a certain thumbnail-size red velvet calling itself a cupcake at the Los Angeles ice cream parlor (I’d like to bring back the word “parlor”), Milk. I have other problems with Milk starting with the fact that the food there doesn’t taste good and it looks worse (blue velvet cake. Can we get a hold of ourselves, please!)… but I thought it was so generous of Foodinista to bring me into her cupcake story. To even have me on her mind. I didn’t expect it, although admittedly, before I got to that first parens, I did think: “Foodinista! How could you!? I thought we were together in this.” I mean sort of. Actually I think we had one conversation about cupcakes ever so I don’t know why I might have thought that.
And Foodinista isn’t the only friend identifying me in a private war against cupcakes. I would like to take this opportunity to show you this, which Foodi’s and my mutual friend Andrea sent me. Just to get my goat. The Great Cupcake Pan. (By “great” I assume they just mean large.) Thankfully, she just sent me the link and not the pan.
And just in, an email from my friend and former editor to me and Foodinista, Oscar Garza. The subject line read, simply, “Cupcakes, Carolina, cupcakes!” And then a link to a story that claims that Magnolia Bakery, the homey Depression-era style bakery that started it all some 10 years ago when they opened near my apartment in the West Village, is coming to West 3rd Street in Hollywood.
It’s nice to know that my friends are thinking of me. But really. I’m over harping on cupcakes. For me it is about to be all about sliders.