This was printed—PRINTED!—in the one newspaper that may actually survive these times. The Gray Lady. The one and only, the trusted and revered… New York Times. Once a powerful force spreading information formerly known as “news.”
No Drill Sergeants, ran the header. And things went downhill from there.
CupcakeCamp, a gathering of cupcake lovers [OMFG PLEASE SHOOT ME!], will be held April 10 from 7:30 to 9:30 p.m. at Happy Ending [GOTTA LOVE THE NAME], 302 Broome Street (Forsyth Street). Similar events have been held in other cities. [ALL I CAN SAY IS: GOD SAVE THIS GREAT NATION.] Admission is free and open to those at least 21 years old. [BECAUSE WHY?… IS THIS PORN?] All cupcakes are donated. [UM… THANK YOU?] Those who would like to contribute some or volunteer [ANOTHER GOOD CAUSE DURING HARD TIMES] for the event must register at firstname.lastname@example.org.
IS THIS FOR REAL? Okay. I will stop yelling. But will somebody. Please. Stop. The madness.